A PLEASANT DAY THAT ENDED WITH INDECENT EXPOSURE

This has been a somewhat weird day. For starters, I had lunch with a friend whom I've known for a long time but fell out of touch with about five years ago (maybe longer). It was so nice to see her, and we picked up right where we left off! After lunch, I went to get my hair cut and enjoyed visiting with my stylist, and friend, Lynn. Chadrick says I'm just as nutty as Lynn, so maybe that's why I really enjoy my time with her. Not long after I got home, my friend, Karin, called to ask if I'd like to ride to Hobby Lobby with her, and I said yes. Of course, I forgot all about my hair, which had been dry cut, and I almost experienced an onset of panic when I realized that Karin was on her way, and I had no idea what my hair looked like! Fortunately, I was able to fix it rather quickly. When Karin got to my house, I asked if she'd mind riding with me. She drives a Camaro (a very pretty car), but I didn't really want to ride all the way to Kannapolis so low to the ground--didn't mean anything bad about that--it's just a preference. She was very understanding--I have nice friends! We had a really nice time, even though it was a rainy, nasty trip. After Hobby Lobby, we had dinner at Cracker Barrel, a restaurant that my boys don't like to go to, so it was a treat getting to have dinner there. After we got back to my house, Karin came in to glance at the new catalog and see the new SU products that I received yesterday and, even though I warned her that my stamp room was hideous (the whole house, really, since I hadn't been home most of the day), I could tell by the look on her face that "hideous" may have been an understated description. I showed her the 6" of space that I have available to create (at the moment), and she said she could NOT create with a desk like mine! Hmmm . . . don't all people who create also create a creative chaos like me? [weird sentence, I know] Why do some people have the discipline to put punches, stamp sets, ink pads, etc. away immediately after they use them, and I don't . . . I just get more and more stuff out, leave incomplete projects when another idea pops in my head, and swear that little trolls keep messing up my room! Anyway . . . I walked Karin to the door when she was leaving and, as soon as she got out of the house, my husband said, "Since when do you wear ripped jeans out in public?" I gave him one of my "are-you-crazy-what-are-you-talking-about" looks, but still his question caused me to double-check to see which jeans I had on. A favorite pair . . . so I asked him what he meant. He said my jeans were ripped--did I not know????? I reached around and OMG!!!!! O-M-G !!!!!!!!!!!! How long have they been like that??????????? I didn't wear them to have lunch with Kim or to Lynn's. I put them on after Lynn's. I never felt a draft, so when did this happen? [think hard!!!!!!] Something felt different when I got in the van to leave Cracker Barrel, but I thought it was the seat. It must have been MY seat!!! God knows, I hope my a--wasn't showing the whole evening! And to think . . . I made nasty comments about a creepy woman at Cracker Barrel walking around in a tank top, no bra, and boobs that REALLY needed some lift and firm support, and here I was . . . with the seat out of my pants!!!!! I haven't been so embarrassed in I don't even know when!!! Try to imagine that it was you with the seat of your pants ripped almost from the top to the bottom of your bottom . . . how humiliated would you be? And you know how Cracker Barrel is . . . on the way, to and from your table, and on the way out, and as you stroll along that long, window-lined front porch, it's like you are being PARADED for all to see! I'm so embarrassed! For some time now, I've had a few pair of jeans that have holes where the pocket corners are sewn on--my mother just fixed a pair of them for me--but I didn't think this pair was all that dangerous to my self-esteem. Take it from me . . . when your jeans get holes in an area that you prefer to keep covered, be sure to get the holes mended or else you might just get a perfectly straight rip where you least want it! CONFUCIOUS FORGOT TO SAY: She who turns up her nose and bashes another woman for looking trashy should instead turn her head or her hand to make sure the a-- that's on her shoulders didn't escape from the rip in the seat of her pants!